One gift that God bestows on mothers is the ability to hear your child roll over in their bed at night, even with bedroom doors closed and with bedrooms on the opposite side of the house. In my case, even on different floors in the house. A full night’s sleep is rare anymore. My youngest daughter is up a few times a night on almost every night. Last night was no different.
It began as the normal middle-of-the-night-wake-up, but ended different than any other night. Determined that I was not going to yell at her for waking everyone in the house, which only makes matters worse, I decided to reason with her. After 30 minutes of reasoning (the first 20 minutes was more trying to get her to calm down) I found myself sitting in the living room floor while she fought sleep on the couch. Knowing I would not be able to fall asleep where I was and that Monday would be a long day at work, I began asking God to be my strength the next day. Well, asking may not be an accurate description. I was BEGGING!
As I begged, God brought to mind a conversation I had with a dear friend over the weekend about something that God had put on both our hearts. As our discussion progressed, I realized that God was answering prayers that I had been lifting up for years. He was giving me the writing on the wall that I so desperately needed. It may be because He was growing weary of my inability to discern His still small voice, or my refusal to admit that I was actually hearing His still small voice out of fear of what He was asking me to do. As I replayed our discussion in my head, I realized why God had my daughter wake me up at 2:30am. So, I began to hammer out thoughts, questions, concerns and details about what I was now confident God had called me to do.
As my girls slept, I prayed. With every breath they took, I got a new answer and piece of the vision He has for me. It was a truly amazing morning. After spending time praying about my family and two friends God had laid on my heart, I decided it was time to get back in bed to lay down… and pray some more. I felt so drawn into His presence that I did not want to leave. As I got up (only 45 minutes after I got back in bed), I had a new and fresh outlook on my life. I actually had a spring in my step, which is rare at 4:00am. In the shower, I kept thinking about what God had laid on my heart. I began asking very detailed questions about the vision He had put in my heart; how to start, where to start, what to say, how to say it, who needs to hear it, etc. Then, out of nowhere, God gave me exactly what I needed. He spoke so incredibly clear that it was scary! (It strikes me funny to think about how I had begged for Him to write the answers on the wall and when He does, I am taken by surprise!)
This, dear friends, is not the beginning of the story, but the beginning of my obedience to God’s calling on my life. He has given me a broken heart for women who are buying in to lies that are being thrown at them, women who do not realize who they are or their potential, women who are lost and need a Savior, women who are no longer lost yet live as though they are, women who are hurting and desperately need healing. He has given me words of hope and love to share, a heart full of compassion and a desire to see true healing and victory in His daughters. I must share with you what He has placed on my heart. The words are from the heart. The motivation is from the Lord. The option to read or not is completely up to you. My prayer, though, is that you will be blessed, see yourself for who you truly are, open your heart to the Lord so He can move freely in you, and experience freedom and victory. Most importantly, my desire is for you to fall madly in love with your Savior. At that moment, your life will change. There are no words to describe this change; it is something you must experience for yourself. I pray you do not miss out!
