A few days ago I sat down and read through the story of Jesus walking on the water (Matthew 14:22-33) with my oldest daughter.  After we read the story we focused on Peter, discussing the faith it took for him to step out on the water, how his faith was tested by the wind and the storm, the results when we lose faith, and how Jesus responds to us when we cry out to Him.  The discussion was not in depth, but a great reminder of the importance of keeping our focus on Jesus.  The Lord keeps calling this story back to mind, and every time He does he points out something different for me to focus on.  Those thoughts are what I want to share with you today.

As the disciples are in the storm they see Jesus walking on the water towards their boat.  They initially think He is a ghost, until they witness an amazing scene between Peter and Jesus.  Peter decides to test Jesus, saying “Lord, if it is you, command me to come to you on the water.”  Without hesitation Jesus calls Peter out.  In response, Peter gets out of the boat. 

           

* Often times we ask Jesus to call us to serve where He wants us to serve.  The response from Jesus may be immediate because we are ready to serve where He wants us to, or it may be delayed because He is still preparing us. Either way, our response needs to be like Peter.  We need to get up and step out in faith, IMMEDIATELY!  The longer we wait, the harder it will be to make the decision to step out.

Now, Peter is out of the boat and on the water.  I have often wondered how what this process looked like.  Did he simply jump overboard with both feet, completely trusting the water would hold him?  Or did he hang on to the side of the boat testing one foot at a time, make fully sure that the surface would hold him before slowly letting go of the boat, one finger at a time. 

*How do we respond to Jesus calling us out?  Do we jump in with both feet, eager and ready to go?  Or do we test the water, stepping out one foot at a time, making sure the Lord is good on His word? 

Peter is now confident that the water will hold him, so he looks straight at Jesus and begins walking towards him.  As his confidence begins to build and his pace quickens, a strong wind whips by his head, catching him off guard.  Peter takes his eyes off of Jesus and is more aware of the storm blowing around him.  Panic sets in and he begins to sink in the water. 

* As we are faithful to the calling the Lord has given us, we begin to gain confidence in His work.  We see results and give God the glory He deserves.  Then something happens that gets us distracted.  For a split second we hear someone tell us the task is too difficult or that we don’t have time for it.  We begin to feel the weight of the task ahead of us and begin to wonder if we were mistaken when we thought we heard Jesus’ voice calling.  Focus has been moved from the one who has called us to the labor of the calling.  When we lose our focus we begin to feel overwhelmed at the task ahead, spend less time in the Word and prayer, and lose sight of the finish line.  We sink, just as Peter sank.

As Peter was sinking he cried out to Jesus “Lord, save me!”  Jesus reached out his hand, pulled Peter up out of the water, then pointed out the reason Peter began to sink.  The distraction of the wind caused him to lose faith.

* When we allow distraction to get our eyes off of Jesus we begin to lose the vision, and eventually the faith to continue on and see the vision to completion.  When we become aware of this, we need to call out to Jesus to get us back on track.  As only Jesus can do, He will reach down and pull us back up on firm ground, at the same time reminding us in love that we lack the faith it takes to move forward.  Our response then must be for God to increase our faith daily that we may live for Him.

Peter and Jesus climb back in the boat while all the rest of the disciples stand in total amazement.  They have just witnessed two of their closest friends literally walk on water.  Once they snapped out of it, they immediately began worshipping Jesus, proclaiming that He truly was God’s only Son. 

* When others see us live our lives for God’s glory, being faithful to the calling He has placed on our lives, they begin to see Him for who He really is.  Even in the moments we mess up, we have the chance to tell others of the grace and forgiveness of God.  We are not perfect.  We are sinners saved by grace through faith.  Nothing we do good is of our own flesh, but a work of the Father in and through us.

Scripture does not speak to Peter’s thoughts or response to Jesus after this incredible experience.  I wonder if Peter had a hard time worshipping with the others because he was too busy beating himself up for his lack of faith.  Or was he able to immediately worship, asking God to forgive his lack of faith and increase it? 

*How much time do we spend beating ourselves up throwing personal pity parties rather that worshipping?  When we take the time to beat ourselves up over even the smallest things, we take the focus from the Lord and place it on ourselves.  While we are important to the Lord, we are not the reason God placed us here.  We are here for His glory and pleasure, to spread the gospel and love others.  The quicker we get out of our little pity party, the quicker we are able to get back on our feet and serve.  The quicker we are serving where we are called to serve, the quicker others will see God moving in and through us.

I believe each of us will find ourselves in some part of this story, either beginning the journey in faith, walking strong towards the goal, being pushed around by wind and waves, doubting your faith, crying out for mercy, throwing a pity party or worshipping the Lord.  Regardless of where you are, you are not alone.  Christ is there with you, walking beside you, guiding you, calling out your name.  He knows where you are and He wants to help you move to the next step in your journey.  Don’t lose faith and throw in the towel.  Learn from your experiences and praise the Lord simply for who He is.  Amazing things will happen!

Motivation

            This question has been rolling around in my head all week.  It hits me the second I wake up, makes my mind wander during the day, and ligers as I drift off to sleep.  It will not leave me be, at least not until I answer it.  Funny thing though, I was sure I had already answered this question.  I felt quite positive that I had looked it square in the eye some time ago and set the record straight.  Apparently I was mistaken, as this question is back, demanding an answer.  So, what is the question?  It is very simple, really.  Short, sweet and to the point. 

WHAT IS YOUR MOTIVATION?

            There it is.  If only the answer were as easy.  My heart cries out that I want everything I do to be for God’s glory.  I long to see Him high and lifted up in my life, visible to all around me.  At the same time I can pretend there is nothing in my flesh that cries out for the least bit of acknowledgement, an accolade, or gentle “at-a-girl” nudge on the shoulder. 

            But there must be a time when the two engage in all out war.  The gloves come off, the fists fly and only one can be left standing in the end.  So, which will win?  Will my flesh take over, or will my heart declare victory loud and strong?  If I had been keeping score over the years, I would have to say that more often than I want to admit my flesh won.  Granted, my motivation may have started out pure and honorable, but as time progressed more questions were asked and the task came to completion, my flesh cried out much louder than my heart.  It saddens to me to acknowledge this.  However, it is true and must be dealt with on a continual basis.

            More recently I had to make a decision that not only impacted me, but would eventually impact my entire family.  I prayed about it, had dear friends praying with me, fasted, sought godly counsel, and meditated over scripture.  Feeling very confident in my answer, I spent time asking God to show me how to accomplish the task He had placed before me.  However, before He would not allow me to move forward, He had more questions to ask me.  Not surprisingly, each question became more difficult to answer.

            Finally, we came to the end of the question and answer session, or so I thought.  God had given me a clear vision of what He expected of me as His child, a wife, a mother, and in His kingdom work.  Feeling confident of this, He reminded me that nearly a year ago He had already provided me with His vision and expectations of my life.  He then asked why I could not simply take Him at His word and trust in His answers. 

            As I wrestled with myself over this, pinpointing my doubt and fears, I was reminded that my hesitation was disobedience.  When the Lord calls you to do something, gives you a vision and a plan, and you continue to ask questions rather than press on, you are being disobedient.  Now, I am not saying a little clarification is a bad thing, because often times we need that.  I am saying that not moving when we are called to move, hesitating out of fear, and continually asking the same questions for which you have already received an answer is disobedience.

            I think of how the disciples were called to follow Christ.  Many of them were fishermen and literally dropped their nets when they were called.  I think of how Daniel did not spend time asking God if he should eat the king’s food, he knew what God expected of him and he was obedient.  And, what about Nicodemus?  When Christ called him down out of the tree, did Nicodemus sit up on the branch asking questions?  No, he came down and they proceeded to his house for dinner.  

            So, what does any of this have to do with motivation?  It is simple, really.  The more we ask God questions, delaying our obedience and allowing satan to step in and distract us, our motivation is less about God’s glory and more about how we will be impacted if we are obedient.  In other words, the longer we mull something over in our mind, the more time we have to come up with random scenarios that will never come in to play.  We begin to think about others around us, becoming more concerned with what they think and if they will be supportive.  We begin to hash out all of the details and create and plan of action.  The problem here is that we are cutting God out of the picture!  Our motivation shifts from God’s glory to what will be easiest for us.  Instead of asking God how He wants to use us, we begin to tell God how we think we can fit Him in to our big picture. 

            The really scary thing about this, though, is that we don’t realize we are doing it.  We believe that we are truly seeking God’s wisdom and face and fail to acknowledge the answers that He has already given us.  I think of David and how he asked God to search His heart and check his motivation.  I believe that while we are seeking God’s will for our lives, or answering the questions He has placed before us, we need to make sure that we are doing a constant motivation check.  We have to make sure that we ask the Lord to reveal our true motivations, no matter how painful it may be.

            So, what about you?  What is your motivation?  Are you seeking the Lord for direction in your life?  Has he already given you the answer?  Are you accepting that answer and moving forward, or are you spinning your wheels asking rhetorical questions that have already been answered?  Is your heart still intent to serve the Lord and bring Him glory, or are you more concerned about how His calling will change the way others see you? 

A Hard Lesson Learned

Man, life has been crazy the past two weeks!  I have been so very blessed though.  I was able to spend a lot of time with my brother, sister-in-love and niece before they moved to Texas.  I even got to spend time with other family and friends, and visit with my sister-in-love’s dad and younger brother.  I have to say, her dad is a true Texan!  He fits the image most people conjure up when they think of Texas.  Even better than the image, he has a heart as big as the state he lives in.  I have been blessed every time I have been in his presence.  He truly is a great man.

Beyond the amazing time with my family and friends, I have been able to carve away some special time to spend with my girls.  We have played dress up, done manis and pedis, picnicked in the living room, and spent a day playing at a local water park.  I cherish every moment I have with my girls because I know that all too soon they will be grown.  One of my biggest fears is looking back over their childhoods with regret.  So I take advantage of every second I can while they are still mine. 

One truly amazing and life changing thing happened to me this past week.  I was blessed with the opportunity to visit with a group of ladies at Priscilla’s Place, a local home for teen girls.  Priscilla’s Place is a part of Teen Challenge, a Christian residential service helping people deal with life-controlling addictions.  The young ladies we met with have a wide variety of backgrounds.  Many of the young ladies were there dealing with drug and alcohol abuse and addictions.  Some of them were there by court order, others because family love them enough to send them there. 

We entered a large Victorian style house and met with the facility director.  She told us the history of Priscilla’s Place and the stories of a few of the young ladies we were about to meet.  After a very informative discussion we joined the young ladies in their Thursday morning chapel service.  It was more of an informal bible study lead by woman from a local church.  She comes every Thursday to share the Word with these young ladies, and love on them.  As I sat and listened to her teach from Isaiah 43, I watched the faces of the young ladies in the room.  Some listened intently.  Some were there because they had to be.  Regardless of why they were there, they were all hearing the Word, which we know will not return void.  Lives were being changed that morning, including mine.

After the study was over, myself and the other two ladies visiting were invited to join a prayer circle, each woman in the room praying for God’s blessings and direction for the young ladies at Priscilla’s Place.  After our prayer time we were able to visit with a few of the young ladies before they headed to class.  They have daily classes ranging from biblical studies to daily life.  That particular day they had a theology class called “What We Know”.  I wish I could have sat in on the class, but we were blessed with a tour of the house during that time.

The entire time I was in the house my thoughts kept going back to 3 particular young ladies.  I didn’t know their stories and had no clue why there were at Priscilla’s Place, I just knew that my heart was drawn to them.  We finished our tour and were asked to sit it on a sign language class practice.  They young ladies learn and perform sign language to praise and worship songs.  As I sat and watched them, the words of the songs had all new meaning to me.  The ladies truly worshipped as they practiced, singing the songs of celebration and promises to the Lord.  I was not prepared for such an amazing time of worship in the middle of my week, but was so grateful to have been blessed by these amazing young ladies.

As I drove away I started crying and praying.  How am I supposed to be involved with these ladies?  What I am supposed to do to reach out to them?  I knew the Lord had not brought me to Priscilla’s Place that morning just to meet new people.  He brought me there for a reason.  He has something in store for me and the young ladies at Priscilla’s Place.  I am still praying for wisdom and direction, but am confident the Lord will show His will in His timing. 

The director of our Women’s Ministry and I plan to attend graduation in a few weeks.  Once the ladies have completed their time at Priscilla’s Place, they hold a special graduation ceremony for the young ladies.  We were asked to attend graduation and see how family and friends are impacted by the ministry at Priscilla’s Place.  I am looking forward to attending and visiting with these lovely ladies once again.

My visit really has me evaluating things in my life.  How am I giving to those in need?  How am I loving on others the way the Lord loves them?  What sacrifices am I making that show others how much they are loved?  Sadly, I am doing little.  Even worse, I am not teaching my daughters to love and to give.  I know that one person cannot change the world, but I can change the world to one person.  God has called us all to love others the way Christ has loved us.  Sacrificially.  Selflessly. Completely. 

While I am still processing my visit and asking God to show me how to get more involved, I hear several references to Kyle Idleman’s book “Not a Fan”.  I have wanted to read this for some time now, just have not made it that far down on my “list of books to read” yet.  I have researched the book and asked others about it.  I keep hearing the same thing… “it will change your life.”  Well, I am ready for that to happen.  I no longer want to be a fan of Christ, I want to be a true follower.  I want to live my life completely for Him, for His glory.   I know it is a life long process and journey.  I know that I will struggle daily.  I know that I will fall on my face some days.  However, I was made by my creator, for my creator and I need to live my life for Him.  In doing that, I need to love and sacrifice for others.  I need to let others see Christ in me.  I need to stop worrying about myself and what others think and focus only on what He wants me to do.

What has the Lord called you to do?  Are you doing it?  What are you afraid of?  Are you loving and giving as He has called you to love?  Are you serving and reaching out to others in need?  What can you do today to be a blessing to someone around you?  Don’t be afraid.  We were not given a spirit of fear or timidity, but of power, love and a sound mind.  Get out there and be His hands and feet!  Come back and share with me the good works you are doing for His name! 

BLESSINGS!

No Ordinary Woman

These words were written in a poem given to me by a dear sweet friend.  The poem is a description of a Daughter of the Most High King.  She walks in strength and dignity.  She is confident, but not in herself.  Her confidence comes from the Lord.  She is beautiful, but her beauty cannot be compared to worldly standards.  Her beauty radiates from a heart that is passionately in love with her Lord.  She is strong, but not in her flesh.  Her strength is grounded in her Savior.  She is caring and gives without a second thought.  She loves others the same way her Heavenly Father loves them, sacrificially.  She has been blessed by family and friends, and has every reason to be proud of her accomplishments in life.  Yet, there is no pride to be found in this woman.  She is humble for she knows that everything in her life is a blessing from Lord, gifts of love and sacrifice poured out on her.  She is not worthy of anything she has received in this life, but never fails to thank the Lord for all He has done.

There are a few women in my life that come to mind when I think about the description of a Daughter of a Most High King.  These women are truly in love with their Savior and serve Him without hesitation.  They live life with great passion and strive only to bring glory to the Lord.  I am confident they will one day hear the sweet words “well done, good and faithful servant”.   My heart rejoices now as I envision seeing them before the throne, receiving blessings for their life of love and service.

Are there women in your life that fit the description above?  If so, tell them!  Let them know that you see their heart, their sacrifice and the love they have for others.  Tell them that you cherish the example they are.  Then, learn from them!  Draw close to them!  Love on them and watch the amazing things God will accomplish in you and in your new friendship.

I can say that my heart is for others to see Christ in me.  I struggle daily with my flesh, and sometimes lose the small battles.  I have chosen to learn from those losses and be better prepared for the next round.  No one is perfect.  Even the ladies that fit this incredible description lose battles.  They struggle the same as every other women.  The difference though, is they have set their hope firmly in Christ and will not be shaken. 

She is no Ordinary Woman,

She is the Daughter of the Most High King.

Let that soak in for a moment.  We are daughters of the Most High King.  There is no reason to walk around in doubt and gloom.  There is no reason to always look at the glass as half empty.  There is no reason to compare yourself to other women and continually as yourself “what if”.  We are all Princesses of the same Father.  We are all loved deeply, passionately, sincerely and equally.  Each of us have been clothed in strength and dignity.  We are all loved with an everlasting love.  We will never be left or forsaken.  We have a Father who is our Defender, Redeemer, Provider, Shelter, Rock, and Lover of our Souls!  We are no ordinary women for we are the daughters of an extraordinary Father.  Stand strong in that truth and never let it be taken from you. 

Blessings

This week has truly been amazing!  There is a lot to share, but I will give you the Reader’s Digest version…  trust me, you will thank me later!

• I have been able to spend a great deal of time with my family this week, particularly my brother and his family.  I am soaking up every second I have with them before the move to Texas. 
• I was loved on by my in-laws this week.  It struck me funny that they are so overprotective of me, but realized that they raised two boys, so having a daughter help out with yard work was new for them.  I think I surprised them just as much as they surprised me!  They are good people!
• Our church had our 3^rd annual Kids Clothing and Equipment Sale this weekend.  It was a lot of work, though I did not do near as much as the others that worked to make it happen.  We made more this year than last year, and I had the opportunity to spend a little time chatting with an old high school friend.  No major conversational topics, but still a good time just hanging out and talking about random topics.
• After 4 years, I finally had a girls night with my Sister-in-Love.  We had such an amazing time!  Good Mexican food, tattoos, and ice cream.  Yes, you read that right, tattoos.  This is something I have wanted for 5 years and I finally decided that now is the time. 
• After dinner and tattoos, we shut down Dairy Queen!  We sat outside with our Blizzards and talked for hours.  We had funny topics, serious topics, good laughs, a few tears, and a lot of bonding.  I hate that it has taken us so long to spend time like this together, but I am so glad that God gave us this time before the move. 
• Tonight, after a nice 2.5 hour nap, I was able to spend time playing dress up with my girls.  It was so much fun!  After we fixed each others hair and put make up on, the girls put on my dresses.  We danced, played, and even made a last minute trip to McDs to get ice cream.  I mean, how sad is it when you get dressed up and have no place to go?  They were so excited to get to go out dressed up!

This past week has made me realize how short our time here on earth is, and how we need to take advantage of every second God gives us.  We have to enjoy our families and friends, and even take the time to get to know new people.  I truly believe this is how we make the biggest impact for our Lord.  Jesus spent time getting to know sinners, and special time with his disciples.  This is how they knew is heart and saw him for who he really was.  The same applies to us.  If we are not investing in the lives of others around us, they will never get to see who we really are.  Not only that, but we will miss out on the blessings of great relationships, even with those we think we would never be able to get close to.  This week, make it a point to spend some extra time with a friend or family member.  Maybe even step out of your comfort zone and get to know someone new.

A Grateful Heart

Looking back over each week and thanking the Lord for the blessings He has given me has really changed me.  I am learning to be more grateful for the small things in life, and worry less about the little things that seem to get in my way.  Reminds me of Francesca Battistelli’s song, “This is the Stuff”….  “In the middle of my little mess, I forget how big I’m blessed”… SO TRUE!  I enjoy my time of reflection because it makes me refocus my life on HIS blessings, which are the things that bring me joy and carry me through every second of every day. 

This past week has been different, to say the least.  But, in the highs and lows, I know the Lord is sustaining me and training me for what lies just around the corner… that is both scary and exciting!!!!

• Monday night I got to spend some quality time with my girls, parents, brother and niece cleaning up the camper and boat from our last camping trip.  It was a good reminder of fun times I had when I was a kid.  I had some good chats with my brother about his move to Texas, and really soaked in the reality of the move.  With each event and conversation God is preparing me for the move, and for the work that must be done here after they leave.
• Tuesday my mother sat at our house for several hours waiting for our new washer to be delivered and installed.  She is such a blessing!  She gives all she has, even to the point of exhaustion.  She thinks of others first and does everything she can to make life better and easier for those around her.  I have watched her give of herself until she is literally sick in bed.  Though I try to stop her from doing so much, I see her heart and desire to serve.  Who am I to take that away from her?  I pray that I grow older I have a heart of service like she does.  We all have our faults, but faults aside, she is an amazing woman and such a blessing to me. 
• Wednesday morning I took my youngest daughter to her post-op neurosurgeon appointment.  The surgeon was amazed at her healing and discharged us from his care.  He was pleased with how the surgery went, with how she is recovering, and with the very minimal risk of her venous malformation returning.  She was just as excited as I was to know that she is now “officially” a “normal” kid again.  She is such a precious blessing to me. 
• The same morning we got good news about my youngest daughter, my oldest daughter broke out in a rash from head to toe, had a low grade fever and a nasty case of Swimmer’s Ear.  I am happy to report that she is now better and back to being herself. 
• Between doctor appointments and rashes that keep little girls from daycare, I managed to stay home Wednesday so my husband could go to work.  I did some work from home, but while the girls rested and watched movies, I did some MAJOR house cleaning.  I cannot begin to tell you how great it feels to clean out closets and throw away the junk that accumulates.  I don’t need that clutter in my life and was happy to get rid of it!
• Thursday I was able to celebrate a small victory!  I have been struggling with my weight my entire life!  I lost 85 pounds after my second daughter was born, kept it off for 2 years, then it started creeping back up!  I gained 25 of those ugly pounds back and have struggle for almost 2 years now to get it off.  I finally started in the right direction on my scale, after doctor visits, long talks with my WW leader and encouragement from my dearest friend.  .4 pounds is not a lot, but when you are constantly gaining or staying the same, it is HUGE!
• Friday I learned that a dear friend of mine had an incredibly tough week.  Actually, she has had a tough year.  But, in the midst of all she has faced, she has been an amazing example of God’s strength and dignity poured out in flesh.  Even when she is struggling and wants to throw a pity party, she continues to look to the Lord and praise Him.  She speaks with wisdom and acts with honor.  She is my mentor and such a blessing to me.  I love this dear woman and her husband as though they are my own family, flesh and bone.
• Saturday was one of the best days of the week!  We worked so hard inside and outside of the house, finishing up projects that have been on our “to-do” list for months!  At the end of the day we had a very clean house, freshly painted posts on our front porch, a yard cleared of a dead tree, and a completely planted raised garden.  I am so grateful for the health the Lord has given me to be able to work so hard, for so long. 
• After a long day of work, we treated ourselves to ice cream and just relaxed, cuddles up on the couch, and fresh pedicures!  This time I got brave.... teal toesnails!  GOOD STUFF!
• Sunday service was amazing, a true celebration of our Independence Day and the service men and women who fight for our freedom!  We are so blessed her in America!  The sermon really called me to the carpet on a few things the Lord has been dealing on me with.  It is time to stop sitting on the back pew, wising I was doing what He has called me to do, and get on my feet and start working.  I am super excited to see what is just around the corner!!!!
• Sunday afternoon while my family relaxed I reflected on my week, the sermon, and my future.  I began working out the details of a few things the Lord had laid on my heart, and really just say and listened to Him.  It was refreshing!
• Sunday night I found myself almost in tears as I watch the joy and wonder on my daughter’s faces as we watched fireworks go off in our neighborhood.  We saw a storm coming in, so we went in the house and got ready for bed.  Before we tucked the girls in, I took them upstairs, sat them on the bed with me, and we watched more fireworks form my daughter’s bedroom window.  We snuggled, talked about the pretty colors, and about the fun-filled Fourth of July we were going to celebrate the next day.  They were both so excited they had a hard time going to bed.  I was reminded of those times I shared with my brother.  The nights we were so excited about the events of the following day that we could not sleep.  And the nights that we stayed up all night long just being silly.  Those are memories that I will always keep tucked away in my heart.
• Monday we celebrated our Independence Day.  I had a little talk with the girls about the importance of the holiday and the importance of the military that keeps protecting the freedoms we have here in America.  I am so blessed to have several service men and women in my family.  They make me very proud!
• This marked the last time I would celebrate Independence Day with my brother, sister-in-love and niece here in Kentucky.  As I enjoyed the day, that thought kept creeping up.  So I soaked in every second and enjoyed the time I had with my family.  My sweet husband was so sick he could not enjoy the celebrations with us, which really took some of the fun of the day away, but he did what he could. 

After some fun times at a carnival, eating ice cream, playing with sparklers and watching fireworks, we all crawled in bed… completely exhausted.  All I could think about as I laid in bed that night was how truly blessed I am.  I deserve nothing good, yet God continues to pour out His love and blessing on me.  I pray that I never take them for granted and always have a grateful heart.

Letting Go

Letting go is never easy to do.  Especially when it comes to people you love.  I remember the week we took my younger brother away to college.  The drive from Kentucky to Florida in a small Class C RV seemed so incredibly long, yet not quite long enough.  I soaked up every second of the drive down, praying the whole time.  I knew in my heart life would never be the same for us.  Man I was right!

My brother and I have always been incredibly close.  Even though he is 6 years younger than me, and annoyed the fire out of me when I was a teenager, we always managed to stay close.  Through boyfriends and girlfriends, weddings and babies, we have always been there for each other.  God has given us a bond that I know will never be broken.  We may annoy each other or disagree with how the other deals with a certain situation, but the that does not change how we feel about each other.  I can look him in the eye and tell him I think he is an idiot, but love him anyway, and he knows that I mean both statements with all my heart.  I can say the same for him.

When he moved away to college I just knew in my heart that we would never live in the same state again.  This was very difficult on me, as well as my parents.   Then, approximately four years ago, I was blessed to have my brother and sister-in-love move from Florida to Kentucky.  I could not have been more surprised or excited.  During the past 4 years I have been blessed to experience numerous camping trips, cook outs, family reunions, four wheeling adventures in the “real mountains”, ventures in jewelry making, plotting family vacations, the pregnancy and birth of my youngest niece, discussions about parenthood, and life in general.  Yes, I can say without a doubt that I have been blessed!

Now the time has come for me to let go, again.  My heart aches every time I think about our last good-byes, the vision of them driving away, not seeing my niece grow up,  my girls not being able to play with their cousin, my parents not seeing their youngest granddaughter almost daily as they have for the past 3 years, my dad watching his best friend move away and my mom worrying about how well they will do in Texas.  After a few of these pity parties God really spoke to my heart.  He reminded me how blessed I have been to be a part of their lives for this long, and that now He is moving them to Texas so that my sister-in-love’s family can enjoy those same blessings.  I now imagine the look on her parents’ faces and the joy in their hearts as they have their baby girl, son-in-law and only granddaughter home.  I think about how they have had to go through the first three years of their granddaughter’s life with only one or two visits a year, and now they get to see her almost daily.  I think about how my sister-in-love went through her entire pregnancy so far away from her mom and now she gets to spend at least the next few years living close to her mom as she raises her daughter.  When I think of them moving closer to her family, I can now smile.  Yes, I will cry when they leave, but I am now able to let go with a content and happy heart.   

My only regrets are not spending more time with them, and not allowing myself to truly love my sister-in-love with all my heart.  This is difficult as I am guarded with my heart.  I am also older than she is, and I think at times that has been a bit of a barrier between us.  It is too late to change the past, and I am not a person that believes in living in regret.  So, I will make the most of the next two weeks, spending as much quality time as possible with them and reliving memories made over the past 3 years.  I will tell them what they mean to me and how they have blessed me through the years.  And, when they are settled in their new home, I will keep in close contact.  I know this is not a permanent good-bye, and that the Lord could surprise me again one day.  Until then, I trust Him to take care of my brother, sister-in-love and sweet niece, and … I will let go….